A is for Angst. And Art. Especially Anime Art. You must love it. All emo children love anime.
B is for Blood. The gift of life? Please! It is your curse.
C is for Crying. All those tears that you've wasted; just think about it. C is also for Cutting. For those who cry tears of blood - apparently.
D is for Death. What all good emo children wish for.
E is for Eternity. The amount of time it takes you to get out of this hell into one that never ends.
F is for Feelings. You know there are only two. Sadness and anger. Nobody understands you. Love is a lie. Happiness is an illusion. Oh, how depressing and worthless everything is...
G is for Graphic. Everything that happens to you is to the extreme, and never for the good. You know a life of anguish that never seems to end, no matter how much you wish it would. The slicing of arteries can be pretty graphic too, I hear.
H is for Heart. Yours is broken forever. Or perhaps not beating? That seems to be popular. Here, let me check for pointy teeth marks... *checks* I don't see yours. You're a member of the undead anyway? Because nobody loves you so you might as well be dead? Okay. Just remember that you said it, not me. I actually thought you were pretty cool...
I is for Intelligence. *ahem* I think I'll avoid a comment on this one here...
J is for Joke. As in, "My life is a...". Don't laugh, though. It's not funny.
K is for Kaddie, the maker of this list. You should worship me in all my emoness. The quizzes told me so. I have been dubbed worthy. It's not my fault! *heavy sigh* Life is so unbarable. Nobody lets me choose my own path.
L is for Lies. Lies, lies, lies. All you've ever known. Nobody really cares. Nobody. It's true. I mean... er... I mean, they're all liars. Yes, that's what I mean... *shifty eyes*
M is for Mutilation. Of the self sort. If you don't have completely mutilated wrists, you are not truly emo. Better get on that, people.
N is for Never. Never applies to many things, e.g.: I will never be loved. I will never know the truth. I will never be happy. etc., etc.
O is for Optomism. Fight it with every ounce of blackness in your body. Stray from those who smile, and especially those who laugh, or those with senses of humor. They are the enemy.
P is for Poe comma Edgar Allen. The original emo. Buy his complete works. It is your Bible.
Q is for Queer. All that claim to be emo must have a questionable sexuality. Hey, I didn't make up the rules.
R is for Revenge. Vow to get it on all of your enemies. They did this to you! They did this... they did this... they...
S is for Scorn. It must be felt to all those who claim to 'like' or especially 'love' you. All cheery people must be thought of scornfully.
T is for Tears. Oh those wasted tears that never seem to stop flowing.
U is for Unbearable. What life is.
V is for Variety. There are none alike among the emo crowd for we are all originals. Remember: Never Conform.
W is for Wilted. Like black roses. Like our hearts and souls. Poor us.
X is for eXile. Okay, so it doesn't start with X. But even with my wonderful poetry ability that all emo children are blessed with, I could not think of a word for the letter X. It's true anyway. We have been cast out of society. Nobody understands!
Y is for Youth. Eternal in over 95% of the emo population. I'd check for pointy teeth marks again, but I don't think I'll find any.
Z is for Zero. Zero is the number, the solution, the answer to everything. You are ranked zero in society. You will fall in love plenty of times, but how many people will truely love you? Zero. Remember that. Zero is the answer.

And now you know you're ABCs. Next time sing them with Chris Carrabba, the messiah of emo.
Thank you, and go the hell away. :)